It seems like an odd choice: BYU has invited the devil to Happy Valley.
OK. That last sentence isn’t entirely true. Vice President Dick Cheney will be giving the commencement address at BYU-and yes, he is the devil. What isn’t true is that BYU sought out his services. It was the Bush administration that laid the groundwork for this controversial decision. It asked politely if BYU leaders could see it in their hearts to listen for an hour or two to the half-smiling codger. It seems Cheney won’t be busy this month giving no-bid contracts to Halliburton, outing CIA agents over a grudge or shooting his friends in the face.
Why, of all the many places in the world, would our vice president end up at BYU? It can’t be for the nightlife. The answer is simple, really. The Bush administration is in a slump. Its approval rating is hovering around 33 percent, which is about 33 percent higher than the amount of time it spends telling the truth. Utah holds the honor of being the site of the greatest Bush landslide in the 2004 election at right around 73 percent. The floundering Republicans desperately need someone to cheer for them. No doubt they believed the only problem in Provo would be Cheney falling asleep at the podium counting all the sheep in the crowd.
Like all of their other decisions, it isn’t going according to plan.
The BYU Democrats have started a petition to remove Cheney from the commencement ceremonies.
First off, there are Democrats at BYU? I’m sure they lead a hard life in Provo, fighting to allow Herbal Essences commercials and crazy heathen flavors like Chunky Monkey.
It’s true, though. Headed by Diane Bailey, the group’s Web site (byudemocrats.org) states, “Yes! We do exist!” Along with their petition, the BYU Democrats will be holding two protests and a T-shirt contest.
Don’t get me wrong. I do commend Bailey and her efforts. Yet, although it is nice to see free speech and opposing views alive and well down south, Democrats in Provo are as common as proper grammar in a Dubya speech. Their voices will barely be heard over the loud bah-bahing of their fellow students when Cheney barks about justification for war, the importance of support and ends with the phrase “God votes Republican.”
Still, no matter how soft their voices, protest is important. It’s easy to dig a hole and put your head in the sand, especially when it’s not Iraqi sand. It’s even easier in Provo where there just isn’t time to worry about politics and corruption when you need to concentrate on the weekly marriage raffle.
People need to hear about the devil going down to D.C. They need to know how the vice president rode a Scooter to freedom. They need to know the difference between water boarding and wakeboarding and what it means to human rights. If the protestors can pass along these messages to even a few, in the words of Dubya: “Mission accomplished.” Except this time, it will actually be true.
Even in Happy Valley, there are voices of reason. It’s too bad we didn’t hear more of them when it mattered most-back in 2004.