BYU: Rockin’ the Girbauds and hoop earrings

By By Janice Kopaunik

By Janice Kopaunik

Amidst the tornado of midterm week, I picked up and traveled south to the land of Provo in search of the mystical Brigham Young University.

“Surely,” you might say, “30 miles cannot make much of a difference.” Well, you would be surprised at the different world that lies only miles from where you call home. The following is my colorful experience in this odd land down south.

Against the backdrop of a scenic mountain, softly topped with snow, the crisp autumn mountain air left me a feeling of “awe” at the spectacular beauty of the land that is Provo. Further investigation of this land of “awes” revealed an odd little town with interesting locals and oppressive leaders, establishing their reign completely without the use of smoke or mirrors.

This picturesque town soon became eerie — a bit too perfect. I began to notice amid the shallow seas of smiling faces something was not quite right. What was missing? There was absolutely no one smoking. Just as I was beginning to wonder where these smokers were, one person lit up, evoking strong reactions from the people around him. The smiling faces turned to glares, and two young men with dark suits and name tags were unleashed on the man. I quickly walked on, afraid that they just might burn this man for his transgression.

Fear quickly turned into interest, as I noticed another interesting characteristic of this town, which I could only guess would be because of a lack of mirrors. Their unique style sense was remnant of the fashions of main stream society 10 years ago, along side amateur fashion creations. “Claw bangs” seen else where in the early ’90s, high, poorly-fitting waist trousers with pleats and (my personal favorite) spaghetti strap summer shirts over plain white tee shirts. Beautiful. I understand the attempt to preserve modesty, but did they have to kill fashion in the meantime?

What BYU lacks in diversity, it apparently makes up in educated youth. There were surprising groups of young people all over the BYU campus. I was particularly impressed to see a 3-year-old attending a calculus class.

This oddly charming world soon turned bleak, as the deep dark secret was revealed. BYU’s academic administration’s driving force was based in ignorance of real people, including college students, successfully retarding scientific progress in the mean time. Ideas based on such “questionable” ideas as gay rights, biblical myths and even evolution are suppressed from the education system. Other Nazi-type rules written into the honor code include abstinence from sex, alcohol, tea, coffee and even candle burning, as it is considered “intentional and reckless endangerment.” Seems to me the administration has a complete lack of understanding of the human being, let alone the college student.

Religious magic is their solution to the (supposed) evolution debate. Just as our ape ancestors are the un-evolved predecessors to humanity, the administration is the un-evolved equivalent of education leaders, imposing their half-baked rule vicously from above. These flying monkeys drove me to quickly pack up and leave BYU, and I will not soon be back.

Even though it is not perfect, there is no place like home!

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