Pats dream season: Keep the champagne bottles corked Shula

By By Cody Brunner

By Cody Brunner

Unbeatable is a scary word.

Scary for opponents, scary for coaches and scary for the team to which that word refers.

The Chicago Bulls teams of the early ’90s were often donned with it. It had become a staple of the New York Yankees throughout their championship years. Hell, Ivan Drago was even dubbed as it in Rocky DCCLXXXVI.

Some teams live up to the hype, some don’t.

This year’s New England Patriots are unbeatable. With the exception of the sun rising tomorrow or another Mike Tyson coke-related arrest, the Pats are the closest thing to a sure bet.

They are going to run the table in the regular season. Then they are going to win every game of the playoffs handily. Then they are going to take out that nansy pansy Osama bin Laden. Then they are going to go up and challenge God to a duel.

OK, maybe I got a little bit carried away there, but you get the point. They’re not going to be beaten this year. They are too talented and too well-coached to lose.

Tom Brady is gobbling up as many touchdowns as young women’s phone numbers. Mr. GQ is a virtual lock for the MVP trophy. He is leading every major statistical category a quarterback can and is on pace to break a few records. His touchdown-to-interception ratio (39-to-4) basically sums up his dominance.

If he doesn’t win the award, Randy Moss of the Patriots — who is the best receiver since Randy Moss of the Vikings — will.

Throw in the “Great White Hope” Wes Welker, a stringent defense and Bill Belichick’s crafty coaching style (watching my words) and you have the formula for an undefeated season.

Naysayers will be quick to bring up the Eagles last week and how they showed that the Teflon coat on Belichick’s team isn’t bulletproof. Every team needs to suffer through at least one dismal game to win the Super Bowl (see 2006-2007 Indianapolis Colts). It just so happens that the Patriots’ mulligan wasn’t a loss.

As for the bogus commentary that the Eagles have given the rest of the league a “blueprint” for success against the Pats, I have only this to say: In the NFL, success is defined in the win-loss column. The Eagles lost that one.

Belichick will probably even use the game against the Eagles as motivation. He’ll tell his players that nobody respects them now. He’ll tell them that everyone is secretly belittling their manhood. Anything in the name of motivation.

The rest of the Pats’ schedule, which includes road dates against the Baltimore Ravens and New York Giants and a home game against the Steelers, isn’t easy by any means, but they will come out unscathed.

By the end of the season, we will be looking at the second undefeated team in the history of the NFL.

Sorry, ’72 Dolphins, those champagne bottles you uncork once the last undefeated team loses each season will remain sealed.

[email protected]