Enough Already

By By Jon Gilbert

By Jon Gilbert

ESPN is terrific. ESPN2 and ESPNEWS are great, too. I love accessing breaking sports news and being on top of the competitive world. I check espn.com and sportsillustrated.com at least once a day. However, staying in touch has its price.

There are a few sports topics that are so overplayed. Sometimes I log onto espn.com and cringe like a child watching a horror film, waiting for the bad guy to jump out at the victim. The bad guy in my case is not Michael Myers and Jason — rather it’s Barry Bonds and Alex Rodriguez.

I’ve heard way too much about:

Kobe’s trade demands. So by now, we know the guy makes more than $17 million a year, plays for one of the most prestigious franchises in sports and lives in southern California — and he hates his job. So you’re not winning titles, Kobe. Boo-hoo. You’ve already got three rings, and everyone praises you for being a ball hog. Suck it up and wait for free agency.

Barry Bonds. He likely used steroids. and it’s just as likely that no one will ever prove it. Nevertheless, every play-by-play baseball announcer feels the urge to reiterate those facts to viewers at least once per game in a 162-game season and throughout the playoffs whether or not Bonds is involved in the contest. Speaking of things on which baseball dwells too heavily?

A-rod. The guy’s got talent out the wazoo. He gets paid more than anyone in the history of baseball (and sports for that matter), and he’s not exactly clutch or a class-act. Now that we have that settled, can we move on? All of this celebrity gossip stuff has just gone too far. When it was Paris and Britney, I could stomach it because I never tuned in. But now that my favorite entertainment sources have stooped to lower standards, I have to wade through garbage to get to real news.

The Southeastern Conference’s football superiority. I am fretting that somehow LSU will slip into this year’s national championship game. If not the Bayou Bengals, then Georgia is a shoo-in. Unless, of course, Tennessee wins the SEC championship game over LSU, then the Volunteers are guaranteed a spot. It makes perfect sense if you live east of Texas and south of Ohio.

On that note?

Tim freaking Tebow. This is the first time I can remember a three-loss quarterback getting this much Heisman hype. Many still believe the Florida signal-caller/running back is the front-runner. Shouldn’t leadership be part of the equation? Pat White of West Virginia and Chase Daniel of Missouri must scream in futility every night as they lie in bed asking, “What more do I need to do to get some love?!” Apparently, play in the SEC (see above).

Duke basketball. Thanks to the “objectivity” of Dick Vitale, mayor of Krzyzewskiville, we know that the Blue Devils are favorites to win the final four at every season’s end. And the Cameron Crazies are gods among mortals.

Do you see the problem here? I have to hear about the SEC and Tebow from July to January, Bonds and A-Rod from April to October and Kobe and Duke from October to June, every year, no matter what. I need an aspirin.

[email protected]