The NBA is contaminated. Don’t worry, there won’t be a swift code-four evacuation. This contamination has turned the NBA into a pitiful display of defense, nonsense tragedy theater, a cluster-**** of flops and conspicuous star treatment.
Professional basketball, more than any other sport, has seen its credibility dip as low as the depths of Hades.
Though it starts with the big cheese David Stern and goes all the way down to the money-washed zebras, it’s the guys flying across the courts we have to thank for all of this. With the tremendous amount of “frailty” shown by the players, fans have grown tired of the absurdity.
Watching certain players play the game with finesse and dexterity can be quite a sight — until they head to the free-throw line 24 times in one game, as Kobe Bryant did against the Jazz on Feb. 26.
More importantly, NBA games have become almost trivial on account of the dreaded phantom foul call.
It’s as though you must prepare yourself to witness a crime when your favorite team plays the likes of Bryant, Tracy McGrady, Steve Nash and Baron Davis. Afterward you want to shriek, “I would like to testify!”
The illness continues with the Kobe foul. For those who don’t know what the Kobe foul is, it’s when a player pump-fakes a shot to get his defender in mid-air, then leans in and initiates all the contact he can handle. He then turns his exaltation into agony and disbelief at the foul.
As long as the protection of star players continues to be funded by money makers, these phantom fouls will continue.
Who would have thought the NBA would one day rival European soccer leagues in the art of the flop? It’s no longer just Vlade Divac and Karl Malone contaminating the league, it’s Manu Ginobili and Baron Davis.
Although the flop has always been part of the game, it has never been this evident. Ticky-tack foul calls are also at the forefront in the NBA. Thanks to flops and tacky fouls, the art of defense has all but vanished. Mediocre teams could score 110 points in their sleep.
Interestingly enough, the teams with the best floppers are among the best teams in the league — San Antonio, Phoenix, Houston, Golden State.
Jazz fans, don’t think you get off the hook. The Jazz have perhaps the most functional/dysfunctional player in the league when it comes to the art of acting — everyone’s favorite backup Jarron Collins.
Don’t forget Andrei Kirilenko — who looks like a 10-year-old child dribbling into traffic. As soon as AK gets the ball, he puts on his well-known grimace and flails his arm so violently that his flops could put someone’s eye out.
Shaquille O’Neal once said, “When you flop, that’s just another message that you don’t know how to play me. Stand up and take your medicine like a man.”
But we still love the game. Thousands upon thousands pour into NBA arenas on a weekly basis to watch their heroes take center stage. Whether or not the phantom calls continue or the flopping becomes more prevalent, the league will continue to stroll along — into the dreaded company of the dark prince and Vlade Divac.
