He says, she says: Go ahead, get plastered!

By Clayton Norlen and Alexandra Gregory

Dear He says, She says,

I’m just finishing my first semester at the U and it’s been an eye-opening experience. I was raised in a devout LDS family, but over the past few months my faith has begun to wane. I really like the college life and I’ll admit I enjoy partying and drinking, even though it goes against the morals I grew up with. Do I need to choose one path or the other, or is it possible to find a happy medium?

Yours,Jack

She says:

Dear Jack,

You’re diving into a new time in your life and you deserve to experience it to the fullest. You can still respect the way you were raised, but you can also respect the person you are becoming. We learn through experience and the way to tell which lifestyle is for you — if you want to play favorites — is by trying them both out. There’s no shame in holding on to a faith you’ve always felt strongly about, but there’s also no wrong in opening up doors that could lead you to rewarding new paths. This life is a lesson — learn it.

He says:

There is no medium here Jack, but you have some options. Your first is to talk to your bishop as soon as possible, pray and hope you don’t already have a first-class ticket to hell. Option two is to keep on having fun, ’cause when you dance with the devil you can’t wait for the song to stop.

Dear He says, She says,

I’m a klepto. Pastries are my weakness and, as of late, it has become an ongoing trend in my life to steal these delectable delights instead of paying an honest dollar for them. I have a steady job, but as soon as I stroll into my favorite coffee shops, I just can’t bring myself to pay upward of two dollars for a damn bagel. I mean, it’s a BAGEL! I have no problem with this, but I just started seeing someone who despises five-finger discounts. Where do I go from here?

Yours,Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice

She says:

Listen, Sugar, there comes a time in everyone’s life when you realize what’s important, and by important, I mean important to YOU. Not what your professors, parents or society tell you is important. If you want to make up your own rules, then do it. The notable thing here is that you don’t mind breaking rules imposed on you by society, but you do mind going against your significant other’s preconceived notions of right versus wrong. You’ve reached a moment of decision, my friend. What means more? A lifetime supply of free bagels or a new sweetie?

He says:

Why do you steal? Is it for the savings or for breaking down the oppressive structure that is the American economic system? If you justify your actions with the latter, keep on taking those pastries for America. But if your reason to stop is hot enough, then stop.

Dear He says, She says,

I’ve never been one to care much for fashionable clothing — in fact, the last time I matched was when my mom dressed me. Things are a little different now, though. There’s a guy in one of my classes who pretty much looks and dresses like a model, and now I’ve got an urge to somehow show fashion sense in my attire. I’ve almost reached my credit limit in trying to make myself worthy of his attention, but it still hasn’t proven successful. Do I keep going until my wardrobe receipts match those of my student loans?

Yours,Project Runway

She says:

Wow, way to objectify yourself. Are you only worth as much as your clothes? In that case, I guess you would be a hot commodity. But seeing as Mr. Mannequin’s pants haven’t ended up on the floor in the corner of your room yet, I don’t think your marketing skills are working. Take what you can back, and while you’re trying to find the mall parking garage exit, chew on this: do you want a man who likes your ass only when it’s in designer jeans or all the time, no matter what it is — or isn’t — in?

He says:

That is commitment. You’re willing to take out a small loan in the name of designer love, and you want to throw in the towel because you can’t get GQ’s attention? The spell has been broken, so now you can return to life pre-Prada and Gucci spending sprees and enjoy the world in your favorite pair of tattered jeans without remorse. Let the pretty boy go. Debt is never in.

[email protected]