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The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

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Guest Column: 10 rules of bar etiquette

By Frances Naisbitt

Well, ladies, we have come to the end of Spring Semester. Now is a time that just might bring occasions when one wants to go out, unwind and have a drink or two. This is all in good fun-but there are a few things you need to remember before hitting the bars.

1. When getting dressed for your big night out, remember: more is better. There is a certain something about women who decide that the more skin they show, the better off their love life will be. This is not true.

The key to dressing for the bar is comfort. Sexy is good, but pick one sexy item and keep it at that. If you are going to wear a low-cut top, try matching it with jeans. If you are opting for the skirt, underwear is a must, and please, keep it below the butt cheeks. Match your “classy” skirt with a more conservative top and some flats. You will survive, I promise.

This is serious, people. Do not leave the house in a low-cut top with the shortest skirt you can find, along with the highest, most ridiculous shoes out there. It just doesn’t work.

2. You have made it to the bar, and you are having a good time. Right? Remember this. People who want to hear you will talk and listen to you. There is absolutely no reason to yell like you are at a baseball game when your friend is an arm’s length away from you. Everybody likes their eardrums-let them keep them.

This goes for the cackle, as well. Laugh as you always do. If you have a cackle at eight in the morning, then run with it. If you are a silent laugher, then what is funny enough to make you laugh like a hyena when you have had a couple of drinks? Nothing is that funny.

3. The men. Ladies, this is probably one of the most important things you can keep in mind. If you take nothing else from this, remember: you are not better for your friend’s boyfriend than she is. They manage to do perfectly well when they are outside of the bar, therefore, they should be able to keep it together while in one.

If you have a boyfriend, other men are a no-no. Keep that head on your shoulders, and remember what you are going to have to wake up with in the morning. Besides, it is the worst thing you could do to your relationship.

The last thing to know about men while at the bar: when you see your ex’s new girlfriend, it is not OK to go up to her and tell her you are still in love with her new fling. This does not and will not ever benefit you. Don’t tell her anything she doesn’t need to know. She doesn’t care.

4. Keep the drama to yourself. What is the point of crying in the middle of the dance floor or picking a fight with another girl outside? Keep it classy.

5. If you can’t wear high-heels sober, please, please don’t wear them when you will be under any influence. There is nothing worse than seeing a girl break her ankle and a wine glass at the same time.

6. Keep your privates private. Don’t show your underwear to the world, and don’t let your top assets hang out.

7. Don’t take 30 of your friends into the bathroom with you. There is no need for this. The bathroom is for one purpose-chat should be kept away from that. Other people need it, and it’s just cruel to make them wait for hours while you heart-to-heart with your friends.

8. Know your limit. Know when you can have another and when you shouldn’t. Unlike the clothing rule, more is not better, and vomit makes the bar and you smell. Stop when you need to-it is far more embarrassing to have to be carried out.

9. Keep your thoughts on other girls to yourself. If you don’t like them, you don’t need to tell them. Besides, do you know them well enough to not like them? Give people a chance-you never know who will turn out to be one of your best friends.

10. Finally, get a cab or know how you’ll get home. Leave your keys in the purse if you have been drinking. It might sound legit to drive home, but it is not safe for anyone. Don’t throw a fit when someone tells you that you aren’t all right to drive. Listen, love, and wake up safe in the morning.

OK, ladies, we all know going out is fun. Some do it, some don’t. No biggie. If you decide that you are going to venture out, get crazy and have some fun with the girls.

Just remember: Women are classy, and they should stay that way whether they’re drinking or not. Keep your composure and self-confidence. Nothing is so good that you should feel bad about it in the morning.

Frances Naisbitt is a communication student at the U.

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