In 1998, my son was 7 years old. His favorite aunts were my ex-husband’s sister and her lesbian partner, both of whom lived in California with their daughter Angie. But we lived in West Jordan, in one of Utah’s most ideological neighborhoods.
The neighbors enjoyed having my police car parked near their homes for protection, but when Angie came to visit, the street — usually bustling with kids — was always vacant. In fact, each time our family stayed with us, the neighbors would gather up their children and disappear into their houses.
I don’t know if Angie or her moms noticed the alienation, and I didn’t mention it to them because I was embarrassed. It is good they are raising Angie in California, because Utah is one of the six worst states in the nation to raise children of same-sex couples.
Utah is in the bottom six because we 1) lack clear mechanisms that create legal ties to both parents for children born to same-sex couples 2) we offer no legal recognition for same-sex couples and 3) same-sex couples face legal restrictions when petitioning for second-parent adoption, according to the Family Equality Council.
Justice Kennedy put it best in the recent hearing against Proposition 8 in the U.S. Supreme Court, stating, “[Children of same-sex parents] want their parents to have full recognition and legal status. The voice of those children is considerable in this case.”
Laws that discriminate against same-sex couples cause “immediate legal injury.” That was Kennedy’s implication — and he is correct.
Utah and Mississippi are the only states that “explicitly” prohibit adoption rights for same-sex couples, according to the New York Times. They are also excluded from working in Utah’s foster care system. In 2000, Utah passed a law prohibiting people who are not married from adopting or fostering children.
There are more than 3,800 same-sex couples raising children in Utah, according to The Williams Institute. Same-sex couples, who already face extra legal challenges to have children, should be allowed and even encouraged to adopt children. Utah’s same-sex families are stable and loving two-parent homes.
The most troublesome part about the legal discrimination is that Utah has the highest rate in the nation per capita for child molestation — both male and female — but no cases involving LGBT individuals. Utah is also the only state where suicide is the leading cause of death for males between ages 15-30 — the vast majority of them from two-parent heterosexual homes and not same-sex couple’s homes.
The community Foundation of Utah assists with estate planning for the LGBT families, which is good because LGBT families lack inheritance rights. However, life partners are still excluded from benefits given as a standard for opposite-sex unions.
On March 21, the Family Equality Council shared the latest statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). The results were positive for children who are adopted and/or fostered by LGBT parents.
Spokesman Steve Majors stated that, on behalf of 3 million LGBT parents and their 6 million children, the AAP believes same-sex marriage strengthens families — not diminishes them. There are more than 30 years of research determining that children from same-sex families grow up with the same positive development that opposite-sex families’ children do.
The tide is changing, and it is great to see same-sex families openly raising their children in more positive settings. There is still a lot of work to be done, especially in Utah, but hope is high that we can create an atmosphere of equality for all human beings.