Growing up in Utah, in retrospect, has been somewhat difficult. On first meeting a person it’s common to wonder not about a person’s character or where they may be from. What’s the first thing you think when you meet someone in Utah? “Is this person religious?”
Then the bigger question, is this person part of my religion? This trivial thought dictates how you feel about the people you meet.
According to bestplaces.net, about 79 percent of Utahns practice or claim a religion, whereas in the entire United States a mere 48 percent claim religious affiliation. This could explain the obsessive nature we in Utah have towards religion.
Many of us fall victim to this thought process early in the public school system and can’t escape it as long as we are in contact with Utah culture. You are led to believe that those with high morals and good ethics practice religion. What is the assumption here towards those who claim to not practice any type of religion? This unfair and prejudiced behavior leaves many feeling left-out and at times hurt. The remaining 21 percent who do not claim religious affiliation are shaped by their exclusion from what is considered normal. This exclusion shapes how they feel toward the religiously righteous. Being discriminated against or even marginalized for any reason causes negative feelings, often of hate and animosity, which in the end leaves no one a winner.
Such thoughts make one wonder, if religion is being practiced in its true essence, then where is the love and acceptance that is seemingly the mantra of most religions? On a daily basis, I have to engage in some kind of religious conversation. How many times do you talk of religion in a day?
On a recent trip to San Diego, my brother and I decided to hit the town. Midday we found ourselves hungry and decided to stop at this cute little restaurant for a bite to eat. We sat down at our table and the server approached us and engaged us in some friendly shallow conversation asking us where we were from and what we were doing in San Diego. In the midst of this very light-hearted conversation I accidently slipped and asked what religion she practiced (one of the few indiscretions I have acquired being a Utahn). The server was obviously caught off guard and defensively retorted with a “Why?” and honestly, I had no idea why I was interested in her religious affiliation. Uncomfortably, I simply replied, “Just curious.”
This forceful shove is just too much and unnecessary. I hate to play the blame game, but I blame Utah for my default of asking about her religion. I wish Utah, like many of our other states, could be progressive and accepting as a society in regards to religion.
Lou • Dec 13, 2013 at 4:00 pm
Bakham,
Really, if you’re going to bash others for
what you don’t like in religion/faith/belief system/philosophical stance
and then do it yourself, at least take responsibility for your actions
and not blame society. Merry Christmas. 🙂
Best,
Lou
Lou • Dec 13, 2013 at 4:00 pm
Bakham,
Really, if you’re going to bash others for
what you don’t like in religion/faith/belief system/philosophical stance
and then do it yourself, at least take responsibility for your actions
and not blame society. Merry Christmas. 🙂
Best,
Lou
Abogado Scott Mills • Dec 13, 2013 at 11:56 am
I agree that Utahns should talk less about religion. However, this is a poorly written piece that displays a failure to grasp the First Amendment.
Abogado Scott Mills • Dec 13, 2013 at 11:56 am
I agree that Utahns should talk less about religion. However, this is a poorly written piece that displays a failure to grasp the First Amendment.
ColoradoRob • Dec 12, 2013 at 11:55 am
Oh, Bakham, I have some bad news for you. It’s a Utah thing. It has always been a Utah thing. Probably always will be. My almost-three-decades growing up in Utah taught me that yes indeed, interacting with Utahns meant you needed to have a strong opinion about religion one way or the other. I don’t know where Mike is coming from – his experience is foreign to me and my ever-shifting social circles until I left the state.
I remember a client visit where the guy jumped at the chance to fly in to meet with my company, because it would give him a chance to tour temple square and finally figure out what’s up with those dang mormons. I remember work parties that opened with prayer (sometimes they’d give lip service to the non-religious people first, but often not). Bakham’s article tells me little has changed.
Rather than try to remake Utah in your image, just find somewhere else to live like I did.
Mike Gibson • Dec 13, 2013 at 2:27 am
Work parties that start with prayer? Are you serious? I never experienced such a thing. Not even close. Especially in areas near the University of Utah. I’ve had experiences like that outside of Utah, like in Oklahoma where the first thing folks ask you is what church you go to. I remember that the work group I was with (from Utah) all found the question to be quite odd and slightly offensive. So I don’t think my experience is unique.
ColoradoRob • Dec 12, 2013 at 11:55 am
Oh, Bakham, I have some bad news for you. It’s a Utah thing. It has always been a Utah thing. Probably always will be. My almost-three-decades growing up in Utah taught me that yes indeed, interacting with Utahns meant you needed to have a strong opinion about religion one way or the other. I don’t know where Mike is coming from – his experience is foreign to me and my ever-shifting social circles until I left the state.
I remember a client visit where the guy jumped at the chance to fly in to meet with my company, because it would give him a chance to tour temple square and finally figure out what’s up with those dang mormons. I remember work parties that opened with prayer (sometimes they’d give lip service to the non-religious people first, but often not). Bakham’s article tells me little has changed.
Rather than try to remake Utah in your image, just find somewhere else to live like I did.
Mike Gibson • Dec 13, 2013 at 2:27 am
Work parties that start with prayer? Are you serious? I never experienced such a thing. Not even close. Especially in areas near the University of Utah. I’ve had experiences like that outside of Utah, like in Oklahoma where the first thing folks ask you is what church you go to. I remember that the work group I was with (from Utah) all found the question to be quite odd and slightly offensive. So I don’t think my experience is unique.
Mike Gibson • Dec 12, 2013 at 3:00 am
Wrong. Completely wrong.
In all the places I’ve lived, the topic of religion is most taboo here in Utah. Unless you’re in a group of people where you know that you’re all of the same religious persuasion, no one dares discuss the issue for fear of offending someone who may not feel the same.
Mike Gibson • Dec 12, 2013 at 3:00 am
Wrong. Completely wrong.
In all the places I’ve lived, the topic of religion is most taboo here in Utah. Unless you’re in a group of people where you know that you’re all of the same religious persuasion, no one dares discuss the issue for fear of offending someone who may not feel the same.