Your résumé was well-received, and you’ve been informed that HR would like to bring you in for an interview for the job of your dreams: Now what? Interviewing for a new gig can be stressful and intimidating. We’ve compiled a list of Dos and Don’ts for all you rookie job seekers out there.
Do: Prepare for your interview. Read up on the company and, most importantly, on the people who will be interviewing you. Do they have any hobbies, strong dislikes or kidnappable children? These are things you need to know before the interview.
Don’t: Assume that you will fail despite your uncanny propensity to choke, such as when you missed a layup to win the intramural basketball league championship, peed your pants under the pressure of a 3rd grade spelling bee or botched every potential romantic encounter ever. Yeah, don’t think about those things.
Do: Wear your finest. Gentlemen, this means suit and tie. Ladies, this means maybe a skirt depending on if you want to be seen as feminine. Perhaps a pantsuit will show that you are to be taken seriously, though some may find it too bossy. Can’t go wrong with a dress, right? Well actually that’s not really modern. Ladies — good luck.
Don’t: Wear underwear. You’ll need all the breathing room you can get.
Do: Greet your interviewer with a handshake and a smile followed by a gentle touch on the lower back to signify your interest … in the job.
Don’t: Avoid your interviewer’s gaze. Look deep into their eyes, through those dark windows into their very soul.
Do: Prepare to answer the question, “What is your greatest weakness?” Acceptable answers include: perfectionism, being a workaholic or having extremely violent yet untraceable reactions to rejection.
Don’t: Tell the interviewer about the time you forgot your bacon-wrapped hot dog in the microwave and it started a grease fire which burned a local office park to the ground. Actually, don’t tell anyone about that.
Do: Send a thank-you note to your interviewer a day after the interview. Nothing shows your appreciation better than a genuine, handwritten note — except maybe a generous amount of Godfrey’s Grow.
Don’t: Slip your interviewer a bag of weed during the interview.
Good luck, and remember — not all of life will be spent in the workplace. Just most of your post-college existence.