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The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

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Groesbeck: Heartbreak Is Not Just A Metaphor


There is truly no greater pain than heartbreak. It sounds cliché, but if you have ever experienced it, you know what I mean. Absolutely nothing is as torturous and excruciating. Suddenly all the songs and works of art dedicated to love and heartache completely make sense. The person you have molded your life with so completely, even if you felt independent through it all, is now gone. Part of you is gone. It is a wild adjustment. You lose someone you shared your whole life with. You lose that constant connection. Your body goes through a great deal of stress. It affects our bodies and our minds. Love is really a drug, and none of us want to go through the withdrawal effects of giving up that high. We crave the euphoria of being intimately tied to another person. Losing that is physically painful. We actually have to grieve this loss.

The first 24 hours is the most surreal. At least, they were for me. After a vague break-up, note sans explanation got attached to my fridge, and I boxed up their belongings, I did not sleep for more than 3 hours. I worked at 6 am the following morning. I forgot my work keys to open the coffee shop. The manager had to open the door for me and was not very happy about it. I messed up a lot of significant coffee-related tasks. To my most wonderful surprise, a coworker came to the rescue and made me new keys. He even took half the shift I had originally taken for him.

My mom was my support through the whole thing. It is tremendously imperative to have someone like my mom in this case of disaster. She guided me through my feelings, held me while I cried and watched with me endless TV series and movies. She helped me be carefully diligent about boxing away any memories and reminders of the relationship instead of burning every object at the stake. They are to open when I am ready.

It is important not to engage with the person, if possible. Every interaction, every view on their social media, anything, is going to set you right back to the beginning of this process: the withdrawal processes.

Then it is time to make new memories.

The advice people give you is very thoughtful and kind, but almost the worst part. I recognize they are right, but it is impossible to believe that when the wounds are fresh. They say, “time heals all wounds,” “you will be okay,” or, “it won’t feel like this forever.”

Fortunately, time works.

I realize now how fascinating it is to experience something so intense and overpowering in all senses. To feel all of both love and loss, to have zero remorse in the end. It is empowering to have this kind of knowledge about ourselves. That we can do that is astounding. So, after an almost fatal heartbreak, try to remember that there is truth in everyone’s efforts to advise you. And, in the end, you’ll be stronger, better off for going through what you have.  

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