Buening: Utah Needs to Destigmatize Women’s Issues
A student poses in front of the fountain located at the Marriott Library Plaza in Salt Lake City on Friday, June 18, 2021 (Photo by Brooklyn Critchley | The Daily Utah Chronicle)
June 24, 2021
I recently sat in a focus group for an advertising project rebranding a type of tampon. A random group of men and women were asked questions to encourage open communication. During this gathering, I witnessed Utahns’ utter lack of awareness about women’s issues. It was disturbing to see the participants’ blatant distaste for the topic, especially the men. Sadly, I wasn’t surprised, but frustrated.
Society has historically disregarded women. It’s exhausting having to constantly defend my support for my own rights. I and other women are tired of feeling unable to openly discuss our own issues for fear of confrontation and belittlement.
Essentially, women should not be controversial. Stigmatization runs rampant, especially in Utah. Our state enforces a taboo around women’s issues through its educational, religious, social and political stances — and it hurts all involved. We must change how these issues are addressed by tackling the source: cultural norms interwoven within hyper-traditional religious values.
Utah’s Stats
Utah’s established values drastically affect the way state’s government and communities operate, making it nearly impossible for the state to hide its atrocious handling of gender equality issues. A 2020 study from WalletHub ranked the best states for women’s equality in the U.S. Utah placed terribly in many categories, including second for largest income gap, first for largest educational attainment gap and second for largest political representation gap.
Unsurprisingly, Utah placed dead last in this study, which is nothing to celebrate. These disproportionate statistics indicate how powerful and foundational damaging cultural values can be.
Sexism and taboo culture are ingrained within the members of Utah society. The indoctrination of these ideals stems from Utah’s inherent homogeneity. 86.43% of the population is white. 60.68% belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the state largely leans conservative.
The LDS Church’s Impact on Women
The regularity of religious permeation in such a uniform majority creates a problem, especially considering the LDS church’s enforcement of patriarchal standards. Structurally, male members hold positions of high authority within the church. The church stresses that women are child-bearers, while they give men the responsibility of “head of the household.” As a result, Utah women get married at the youngest average age in the country and have the highest average number of children per family.
Consequently, Utah women see themselves in the restrictive roles they are taught. Women who deviate from these expectations are criticized and sometimes punished by religious authority. In 1993, Lavina Anderson was excommunicated for advocating against ecclesiastical abuse she saw in the church. Kate Kelly was excommunicated in 2014 for her role in the Ordain Women movement, which attempted to remove gender inequality within the church’s positions of authority. And this year, sex therapist Natasha Helfer was excommunicated for challenging the church’s strict rules regarding sexuality.
Such extreme actions silence women’s voices. The church maintains shame-culture as they forcefully and publicly remove women from the state’s most distinguishable organization. As a Utah woman who was raised LDS, I’ve both witnessed and experienced the antagonization, shaming and isolation that accompanies standing up to these standards.
The Harm of Utah’s Stigmas
Unfortunately, many women have become complacent to the stigmas placed upon them. Such stigmas aren’t only enforced by men in our state’s environment, but by women with internalized, misogynistic views. In 2018, Utah women were surveyed as being even more sexist than Utah men. This has resulted in an intergenerational cycle of continued stigmatization. In droves, men and women alike show support for representatives and cultural behaviors that perpetuate the problem.
These stigmas not only permeate religious circumstances. The white, Christian, conservative demographic tends to support topics such as abstinence education, the pro-life agenda and restricted access to contraceptives, all of which negatively impact women. Utah’s refusal to acknowledge these issues is unacceptable considering the negative impacts. Women face real danger when they don’t feel comfortable discussing health concerns specific to them. Their issues shouldn’t be treated in the same way or with less importance than men’s issues.
For example, the lack of comprehensive sex education threatens women more than men. Misunderstanding the definition of consent perpetuates rape culture. Utah’s tendency to ignore sexual issues contributes to its statistics of increased sexual assault. Women also face the possibility of unplanned pregnancies which, thanks to Utah lawmakers constantly challenging bodily autonomy rights, leave them with few viable options.
Also, neglect for women’s health contributes to misdiagnosis, prolonged medical ailments and sub-par treatments. Medical research rarely tailors to women specifically when compared to the research done on men’s health. It’s scary enough that most women don’t have this information readily available to them. Utah makes it scarier by nurturing an environment in which they don’t feel comfortable pursuing the information at all.
Looking Forward
Stigmatization has extremely harmful effects. This year, the Utah legislature is more male, Republican and white than it has ever been. I cannot stand idly by as stigmatizing culture continues to damage its constituents. Utah needs to see a complete social and idealistic turnaround when it comes to addressing women’s issues. We must fight for this despite the difficulties that come with battling such strong opposition.
Whether it’s through media attention, political action, personal influence or something else, apply persistent action. If we can begin removing stigmas around women’s health, we can create a more progressive and beneficial future for ourselves. Maybe then I, along with countless other women, could finally start feeling less tired.
John Hedberg • Jul 13, 2021 at 10:50 am
Good grief! Everyone grows up with values that are different than the social group they’re born into. Part of growing up is learning to communicate and make space for yourself and your viewpoint without turning into a self-pitying, ultra-accusatory bastard (an eternal adolescent, in other words). We’re all different, so we all need to be patient and understanding, and not assume the worst of others, since that also reflects on us.
The first two women I dated when I arrived in Utah from back East were LDS, in their early 20’s, and both of them in conversation told me exactly what their GYN’s were giving them for advice. Neither of them seemed afraid to share their entirely up-to-date professional-level information about sex and sexuality. I found their openness and honesty refreshing, along with their lack of bigotry, which at the time I thought was a local phenomenon. It seems clear now that Utah women were just a year or two behind in catching up with the nation’s most trendy (and stupid) hatreds and “systemic” grievances. (i.e. I can question and dehumanize you by attributing all my own worst human feelings to you, and saying my nastiest feelings are all your fault, because you’re an evil person who dehumanizes people, like I just did. Wonderful circular thinking! For a 9-year old.)
Just a clue: When my Mom was growing up, there were no smart phones, tablets, or internet. If you wanted a book, you had to walk into a book store and buy it, or check it out from a library face-to-face. The idea that anyone in 2021, whatever gender or sexuality or identity, faces any unusual pressure or has any trouble finding access to as much information as they can handle is kind of ludicrous, even if playing the victim makes you feel special for a moment. Listen to yourselves! All you have to do is touch a button, and like magic, all the information you want is there! If you want groups you can talk with openly about any subject, either online or in person, anyone with a phone can be in instant contact. There’s an old saying that was popular in my neighborhood when I was growing up: “get real”.
Personally, I don’t advocate treating any group of people as being of greater or lesser worth. If your church or local community is having trouble giving you what you need in the way of support, you can stand up like a grown-up and explain it to them, and work it out, since this is what successful relationships are made of lifelong, or you can walk away to your local Protestant church and get all the support you need. Whining, as if you’re being oppressed in an age when freedom and opportunity are there for anyone and everyone who decides to make any effort (or even lift a finger), makes you seem as if you truly are a little young to be playing with adult issues like pair-bonding, reproduction, & infectious diseases, as if you’re not willing to take any responsibility for doing any work, like a child. Since I haven’t met any LDS women who’ve been too immature or uninterested to educate themselves (and educate me, as a friend) about any subject which interests them, I’m guessing the ludicrous childishness and empty finger-pointing I’m reading here isn’t at all representative of LDS women as a culture.
Honestly, until I read this peevish article, I actually considered the women I’ve met here to be unusually mature and responsible, plus being articulate, sensitive, and considerate communicators. In fact, if I didn’t have such serious reservations about the extreme moral hazard associated with (false, to me) doctrines like “authority” and “worthiness” in a greater church family where we’re supposed to Love each other as equal human beings, co-equal children of an Infinite Love, I’d probably favor marrying someone from your church. The (hazardous & false, to me) doctrines of un-equalness aside, most of the Mormon women I’ve met have been better educated and had better life values than most I’ve seen.
Sorry if this sounds harsh to any of you. I’m your brother, and your well-being matters to me, along with most of your feelings (the ones that actually reflect mature & mutual Love and consideration, as equals).
Anyway, I understand if you want to roast me for saying these words in critique, even as you heavily criticize those around you in a most pejorative (and unfair?) way. You seem entirely blessed to me, and less challenged in comparison to almost everyone I’ve known, so the complaints seem beneath you as co-equal adults. Sorry if that hurts your feelings, even as you may have hurt those whom you critiqued.
Best,
With Love,
John H
Emily D • Jul 10, 2021 at 6:19 am
These issues are very real in our community. Being a woman with non-traditional values in Utah is challenging. Even more so is the lack of education on womens issues, pressure to conform, and lack of representation. Thank you for speaking up sarah!
Hannah • Jul 10, 2021 at 4:41 am
Can we just take a second to stop and recognize that the only people who seem to have an issue with this article are MEN?
As a woman, I completely find this article on point and speaks to my experiences not only for my gender, but having lived in Utah and the LDS religion for (too many) years of my life. Maybe, just maybe, some men can start thinking about putting themselves into the place of a woman rather than getting uncomfortable about having their power questioned.
J. Jolley • Jul 1, 2021 at 12:04 pm
Ms. Sarah B.,
I appreciate your article and experience. It offers attention to many ignored problems within our state’s structure and culture. I too have witnessed, listened to, and researched about our culture’s discomfort (or utter refusal) to talk about women’s issues. I grew up here in the early 2000’s and can attest that not even basic biological functions of women are covered within our ‘health’ curriculum beyond a 5 minute blurb. The fact that it is illegal for even a school nurse to speak to a child about their body’s sexual function is a laughing stock at best. I do agree with J. H. that our culture has improved in the country over time and Protestantism has been a catalyst for change in some contexts. But that is not to say that there isn’t much more to achieve, especially where many men (and some women) have misconceptions about women biology and the issues that surround them.
I offer a caution to J.H., the author, and other readers, be careful of the black and white thinking. J. H. was critical of Ms. Sarah because he assumed that she was being “racist”. While it can appear that way, I disagree. As far as I can tell Ms. Sarah B. only referred to race are two comments about the state population and legislature. Her facts are true. Our state population is mostly “white” and the legislature is more white than it has been in a long time. Stating a fact is not being racist. Nor, is pointing out the fact that the majority of elected officials are men. Is this to say all men are sexist bigots, no. What it does say is that women’s views, or those of people of color are not well represented in the most powerful elected positions. Now, what can we learn from this article and the comment from J. H.? You decide for yourself. I learned that Ms. Sarah B. identified many aspects of our state culture, that other women can attest to, that impact women. She also calls for girls and women to have public spaces where they can be educated and talk about issues specific to them without being shamed by religion, political opinion, or the personal discomfort of men or other women. J. H. reminds us that some “Christian” teachings can offer positive effects, though this does not negate Christians from being part of the solution in solving the challenges posed in this article.
Josh Marchant • Jul 1, 2021 at 9:18 am
A lot of things in this article are not completely true. There are many women who hold high-ranking positions in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and women are not “punished” for not being home-makers. In fact, if you do your research, more than half of the adult women in the Church are unmarried. Women are encouraged to get education and to pursue their passions. I think that this article was very biased and full of anti-religious sentiment. Not one of your best articles.
John E Hedberg • Jun 30, 2021 at 11:44 pm
As a transplant from a Blue state, from a family of highly successful women, I find this article to be a little bit “scanty” when it comes to research. I’m neither LDS, nor a proponent of any priesthood authority which makes value distinctions between people, since this was the reason Protestantism came to exist, first in Europe, and later here. We’re all co-equal children of the same Infinite Love, equally fallible and forgivable, equally valuable and lovable in our unique diversities as individuals of worth and potential merit (the content of our characters). This is Protestantism, and the first thing your rather racist allegations miss is that the “women’s suffrage” movement in this country (and on this planet) largely began among “white religious conservatives” in New England, and to this day, “white” Protestants, including men (Yikes!), actually tend to be less patriarchal than most other cultures and ethnic groups from around the world, however they look on the outside. The Utah LDS Church is a “throwback” in the eyes of most Protestants, who learned centuries ago what happens when you mix religion and supposed authority: ironically, the Mormons’ D&C 121 makes the same observation to their people, which they habitually ignore, but that’s a discussion for another time.
Anyway, your rather racist attempt to conflate “white” race and patriarchy is actually almost 180 degrees from the way the Suffrage Movement played out, since it began among white Protestants of both sexes, just as the Abolition movement which freed the slaves began among white Protestants who never owned slaves and who sent their own children to bleed and die to free good folks they never met and never would: that’s true Love, to lay down your life, and your children’s lives, for your brothers & sisters just as God gave your ancestors freedom from the slavery of their home countries, and so it was the privilege of white Protestants to give thanks by making certain every human being had access to those same opportunities and choices, even though none of them had ever owned slaves, and they fought the spread of slavery in Congress and greater society for “4 score and 7 years”.
So, maybe you can dial back your racist and unfounded hatred against innocent whites (and men)? Maybe you could even be grateful for all the battles which have been fought for your benefit by these Protestant folks of any race & gender, purely out of God’s Love? (haha – it would be refreshing~)
I also noted that you completely ignored the positive social consequences of the Christian focus on nuclear family: better physical and psychological health for all members of the family, higher socio-economic outcomes and lower imprisonment rates than among single-parent families (I come from a single-parent family, so I speak from experience), lower rates of STD’s, anxiety, depression, isolation, and I’m not just talking about women, nor just about young women, but about human beings at all ages, since life actually gets harder as you get older, and so having a network of Love & relation can not only prove beneficial on a regular basis, but life-saving in “pandemically” hard times. For those women who want career, my Protestant ethic of several hundred years says everyone should be able to choose their own best destiny, but for those women who think marriage and family is their favorite flavor, who are you to look down on their lower college graduation rates, when they put other people’s well-being before a piece of paper that’s come to mean very little in 21st Century life (barring another shortage of toilet paper). I say this as a college student: if a degree isn’t directly needed to facilitate your happiness and “American Dream” in life, it’s just waste & debt, no matter who you are. There’s little remaining of the “higher” in higher education in 2021, aside from direct professional certification.
Anyway, I highly agree with you that “stigmatization has extremely harmful effects”, and so since you know better, STOP DOING IT! LOL
Every time you choose to look at someone based on immutable characteristics like race, gender, ethnicity, or other identity, you’re essentially running the risk of saying one group is “more human” and other groups are “less human”, when the whole basis behind Dr. King’s worldwide success is the fact that we’re all always equally human, full of that same Love and potential, fallibility and forgiveness: in essence, we’re family, and when you take your eyes off that prize and attribute pejorative fears and hatreds to any one group, you reject the humanity in every single individual in that group, just as if you’d just rejected your own individual humanity. That’s the deal. You can’t undermine one group’s humanity without destroying everyone, including self, so best to learn early not to make surface distinction based on identity, but focus rather on individual “content of character”, the same way you want to be judged (or appreciated) by other people in your life. That Love, as family, is ultimately the only thing that makes life’s “slings & arrows” bearable and worthwhile as our life-decades pass, so don’t personalize issues, just focus on solutions, many of which you’ll be surprised to find you actually share with people who don’t share any outward inter-connectivity with you, but who somehow share an inner humanity which makes you instantly recognizable to each other regardless. Always-
Best Regards
With Love,
J Hedberg