The Daily Utah Chronicle

Calling all Gamers: U’s Varsity Overwatch Team to Hold Tryouts

Calling all  Gamers: U’s Varsity Overwatch Team to Hold Tryouts

By Justin Adams

August 29, 2017

The University of Utah’s Varsity Esports program will be holding tryouts for its inaugural Overwatch team on Sep. 1 and 2. "Between 50 and 60 students are already registered to compete for the eight roster spots up for grabs" according to Joe Johnson, a U student who will be coaching the team. Those...

Football: Utes Open Season Against North Dakota

Football: Utes Open Season Against North Dakota

By Justin Adams

August 15, 2017

The wait is over. Football is back at the University of Utah as it is set to kick off its season against North Dakota on Thursday, Aug. 31. While questions still remain on how the newly named starting quarterback Tyler Huntley will perform, how the transformation of the offense that offensive coordinator...

Connecting the Dots Between The Election, The Oscars and The NFL/NBA Finals

Connecting the Dots Between The Election, The Oscars and The NFL/NBA Finals

By Justin Adams

March 13, 2017

2016 was the year of the comeback. The Warriors blew a 3-1 lead in the Finals to LeBron James and the Cavs. Hillary Clinton somehow lost to Donald Trump (sorry for reminding you). The Falcons blew a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl to Tom Brady. And finally, big Oscars-favorite La La Land lost the award for b...

Satire: Fans of VidAngel Streaming Service Mourn Loss of “Safe Space”

Satire: Fans of VidAngel Streaming Service Mourn Loss of “Safe Space”

By Justin Adams

January 20, 2017

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints took to social media this week to voice their displeasure at the ongoing legal battles of VidAngel, the video streaming service that allows users to filter “objectionable” material. The Utah-based company was recently fined $10,000 for contempt...

Satire: Donald Trump Announces White House Decoration Plans

Satire: Donald Trump Announces White House Decoration Plans

By Justin Adams

November 19, 2016

Following Donald Trump's shocking election night victory two weeks ago, many people have concerns. Not one of those concerns is how the new President will decorate the White House. However, that's what Trump chose to speak about this morning from Trump Tower in New York City. "I can tell you this,"...

Satire: Search And Rescue Operation Begins On Campus

Satire: Search And Rescue Operation Begins On Campus

By Justin Adams

November 19, 2016

The U began a search and rescue operation today after a student has been reportedly missing within the depths of LNCO for 36 hours. The student, James McDougal, apparently entered the building Thursday afternoon and has not been seen since. Susan McDougal, James' mother, said that she received a text...

By The Numbers: Nine Games In

By The Numbers: Nine Games In

November 7, 2016

 OFFENSE Let’s start with the offense. This year, Utah is averaging 427 yards per game. Last year’s offense (which only eclipsed 400 yards twice) averaged 376 yards per game. That’s a 13 percent increase. If the Utes can stay consistent, they are on pace to end the season with 5,120 yards of tota...

Satire: Donald Trump Bows Out Of Race In Shocking Display Of Humility

Satire: Donald Trump Bows Out Of Race In Shocking Display Of Humility

By Justin Adams

November 5, 2016

Donald Trump shook the political world Saturday morning when he announced that he would be dropping out of the Presidential race. "I've come to the realization that, as many have said, I am unfit to be President," said Trump at the surprise press conference. "I took a good long look in the mirror and...

Satire: U Student Dies While Waiting In Panda Express Line

Satire: U Student Dies While Waiting In Panda Express Line

By Justin Adams

November 5, 2016

University of Utah campus police released details Saturday of a student who died this week in the Union cafeteria. Witnesses say that Fred Douglas passed away while waiting in line for Panda Express. "I mean, he looked pretty old when he got in line," says Emily Johnson who was in the cafeteria that...

Satire: Thanksgiving Holiday Remembered

Satire: Thanksgiving Holiday Remembered

By Justin Adams

November 5, 2016

The Thanksgiving Holiday passed away this week on November 1st. Its death was marked by a sudden explosion of Christmas decoration, marketing, music, and advertising on the day following Halloween. Those close to the holiday of gratitude say that it has been struggling for years, battling the slowly...

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