The Daily Utah Chronicle

Olympic Flame Extinguished, Relay to Start Again

By By Elvis Faucett, Comical Editor in Chief • January 22, 2002

The Olympic Flame went out yesterday and all of the blame rests on the shoulders of Billy Thompson. Thompson is a six-year-old cancer survivor who spends his time helping the elderly. He recently won the Pulitzer Prize for his book "Cancer Sucks, But I Like Old People.

Senators Return to Closed Government Office

January 22, 2002

WASHINGTON?Senators and staff returned Tuesday to an office building shut for three months by anthrax contamination. "I go in with confidence and a prayer," said Sen. Joseph Lieberman. That mix of caution and optimism was typical for the politicians and employees reclaiming the nine-story Hart building, home to offices of half of the 100 senators.

New Cell-Phone Standard of Excellence Set

By By Rupert Fancipants, Comical News Editor, By Rupert Fancipants, Comical News Editor, and By Rupert Fancipants, Comical News Editor • January 22, 2002

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Family of detained Ann Arbor Muslim faces deportation

By By U Wire • January 22, 2002

ANN ARBOR, Mich.?For the family of Rabih Haddad, it may seem that equality has passed over them on a day which is supposed to represent freedom. In a new twist in the case concerning Haddad, a Muslim community leader jailed on an expired visa violation, Haddad's wife and her four children were served removal papers Sunday.

Man With Scissors, Headless Legislator and Frozen Meat Wielding Perpetrators Prove Olympic Insecurity

By By Hadassa Mctavish, Comical Opinion Editor, By Hadassa Mctavish, Comical Opinion Editor, and By Hadassa Mctavish, Comical Opinion Editor • January 22, 2002

In a surprising breech of security last week, Olympic Village volunteers admitted into the area a man with scissors, a headless woman with a concealed weapon and a suspicious looking woman armed with frozen meat products. Though they turned out to be the Village barber (Youhaav Splitendds), a visiting legislator (Ivana ScrooUover) and a McDonald's employee (Patty Mcflurry), the Salt Lake Organizing Committee considered the invasion a chance to re-think Village security.

Air Med Part of Torch Relay

January 22, 2002

An Air Med airplane will carry the Olympic torch during its journey through Utah. Several of the torch's final stages will pass through Utah landmarks, such as the national parks and monuments in the southern regions of the state. Air transport of the torch between some of these stages is more desirable than other methods because of time constraints and remoteness of the sites.

U Women Swimmers Get Split in MWC Meets

By , , and • January 22, 2002

Thirty-two-hundredths of a second. That's all that separated the U women swimmers from a perfect 2-0 record last weekend. That's all that kept them from a .500 record on the season. Instead, the Utes ended up splitting this weekend's meets against New Mexico and Colorado State.

No Seconds for Majerus?

By By Smitty Van Leeuwen, Comical Italian Food Editor • January 22, 2002

Hell has frozen over. Pigs have flown. And Karl Malone spoke of himself without using the third person. While such events have not truly transpired, another occurrence that once seemed to be on equal footing in terms of impossibility actually has happened.

Machen Says He’s Not Looking to Return to Michigan

January 22, 2002

Since the University of Michigan began searching for a new president weeks ago, rumors about the possibility of the U's president returning to Ann Arbor, Mich., have spread quickly. U President Bernie Machen, who was provost and executive vice president for academic affairs at the U of Michigan from 1995-1997, dispelled the rumors.

Euro Faces Questionable Future

By By Adam Benson • January 22, 2002

Adopting the world's newest unified currency, the Euro, is a popular trend for many of Europe's leading countries, but it has its problems. Tuesday at the Hinckley Institute of Politics, a panel discussed the future of Europe and the challenge of the Euro.

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