The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

Write for Us
Want your voice to be heard? Submit a letter to the editor, send us an op-ed pitch or check out our open positions for the chance to be published by the Daily Utah Chronicle.
Print Issues

students who think they know as much as we do: Where Are The TV Gay People?

Disclaimer: The following article is published as part of our annual satirical April Fool’s Day issue. Please don’t believe any of it, and please don’t sue us. Thanks.


I’m sick of your constant homophobe bashing. I wouldn’t be phobic of homos if they acted like the homosexuals on television.

Why can’t they act hilariously flamboyant, but pleasantly asexual, like on “Will and Grace?”

Sure, Jack might act all “flamey” but I can’t picture him being sodomized. He certainly wouldn’t walk around holding hands with a dude and then get pissed when you call him a flamer. Plus, when the boss lady with the teeth calls “Poodle” a “fairy,” he responds with a crazy wisecrack or a self-effacing quip. He doesn’t report her to the head office and get her fired.

And what’s the deal with lesbians? The “Man Show” and many credible films depict seemingly heterosexual women who dabble in homosexuality for the voyeuristic pleasures of men. Half of the lesbians I meet seem to defy the male standards for femininity. They often cut their hair short and forget about makeup altogether. It’s as if they don’t even care what men think.

Homosexuals need to start acting like real homosexuals and not pretend to be annoying individuals with feelings.

Jared Cummerbund

Junior, Business

Leave a Comment

Comments (0)

We welcome feedback and dialogue from our community. However, when necessary, The Daily Utah Chronicle reserves the right to remove user comments. Posts may be removed for any of the following reasons: • Comments on a post that do not relate to the subject matter of the story • The use of obscene, threatening, defamatory, or harassing language • Comments advocating illegal activity • Posts violating copyrights or trademarks • Advertisement or promotion of commercial products, services, entities, or individuals • Duplicative comments by the same user. In the case of identical comments only the first submission will be posted. Users who habitually post comments or content that must be removed can be blocked from the comment section.
All The Daily Utah Chronicle Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *