Hell, let’s burn some books while we’re at it…

In the wake of a confrontation between security guards and concert attendees at Midvale’s Comedy Circuit, amateur promoter Bobby Baugh has stated he will not allow “straight-edgers” into any of his company, Solid Entertainment’s, future concerts. Straight-edge, a personal ideology which promotes abstinence from drugs, alcohol and promiscuous sex, is very popular within Salt Lake music scene.

The quandary: How does one identify a person who abstains from alcohol, drugs, and promiscuous sex? Baugh tells The Salt Lake Tribune that he will have bouncers screen all concert attendees for signs of straight-edge beliefs. The Buzz Bin wonders: Will breathalyzers be on site to make sure only those who have imbibed alcoholic beverages be allowed in? Will blood tests be administered to check for narcotics in order to gain entry? Or for that matter will said blood tests screen for sexually transmitted diseases to assure that only those participating in promiscuous sex be allowed entrance? Let us pray that Olympics athletes, BYU students, George Bush, individuals with Jew-Fros and the Pope are not weeded out by these (dare-we-say) ridiculous/bordering on illegal entrance requirements.

Oh yeah, and make sure not to bring your Good Book-Buzz Bin is sure its moral standards will undoubtedly be grounds for exclusion.

In related Solid Entertainment news, the band Diecast (who were performing during the aforementioned brawl) have issued a press statement stating that due to Solid Entertainment’s “unprofessional actions,” they will “never play another event for Solid Entertainment.” These “unprofessional actions” included allowing local bands hour-long sets while the three touring bands (Diecast, the Hoods, and Winter Solstice) were given only 15 minutes to perform, as well as Solid security’s violent crowd control tactics. Both Diecast and the Hoods stated that they’d would love to return to Utah in the near future, if not promoted by Bobby Baugh.

Buddyhead says what the world thinks

Buddyhead, the world’s premier source for slanderous Sunset Strip music gossip, released its infamous Best and Worst of 2004 list this week to the joys of many and the dismay of 20 (there are 20 members on the worst list).

Making the 20 best were Elliott Smith’s posthumous masterpiece From a Basement on a Hill, Devendra Banhart’s two 2004 releases, Rejoicing in the Hands and Nino Rojo, and the Team America: World Police Soundtrack. Other honorees included Brian Wilson whom The Head stated was “the coolest fat guy we can think of” and Autolux, who they describe as sounding like Sonic Youth, but not like the records where they recorded vacuum cleaners and banged spoons together-wait, which Sonic Youth records are those? Plus their bass player played violin in Guns N’ Roses “November Rain” video, so how could they be bad-wait, there was violin in a Guns N’ Roses song? No way!

Christening the “worst of…” is My Chemical Romance, who left Buddyhead wondering, “How did this geek squad, fronted by a porker wearing red eye makeup, trick a nation of bedwetting prepubescent mall rats and d***-riding ‘music journalists’ into thinking that their s***** pop punk band was a real band?”

The Buzz Bin concurs on that one-waaaaaay too many feelings.

Many a disco-punk were chastised as well, noting that 2004 was for “disco-punk” like 1997 was for “ska-punk”-clearly not a good thing. Even Utah’s bastard sons The Used made the list as Buddyhead advised, “These dudes need to shut the f*** up about how crazy Bert is, cause Bert is just a poser from Utah who just happened to have cable growing up and saw two Nirvana videos.” Word.

Snoop burns Zion’s crops

Friends don’t let friends partake in poor-quality herbal supplements, and if anyone knows this, it’s infamous partaker of herbal supplements, Snoop Dogg. Always the gracious host, Snoop (or Mr. Dogg, if you don’t have a joint) overlooked his recent vow to forever avoid the chronic on a recent visit to the Sundance Film Festival. While “not” actually partaking in said supplements, Snoop “didn’t trust the quality of the stuff in Utah, ” and made sure that his rider requested several ounces be flown in from dependable sources. When asked about Snoop’s actions, Utah’s premier producers of Snoop’s famed favorite after-dinner special replied with a resounding, “Bummer, man.”

Dan Fletcher

Contributed to by

Eryn Green