Calendar and young manhood

By and

April 22

Friday

Calendar can relate to the Kings of Leon, who’ll be bringing their whiskey-drenched, old school dirty-“duurty” Southern rock to In The Venue (219 S. 600 West) tonight at 7 p.m.

For one thing, they stink of whiskey and kudzu, a smell we patented long ago after spending six months straight in the General Lee running from Boss Hogg all day. For another thing, their father, like ours, is an evangelical preacher in the South that moved from town-to-town until one day he finally gave up on the faith just so he could let his children grow to be alt-rock demigods. Except our father gave up the faith just so his Calendar-kin could one day become demigods…for Satan. Like we said before: We can relate. Tickets are $20 from Smith’sTix outlets everywhuurrr.

We can also relate to Crimson Nights, which, ironically enough, is what Calendar Sr. used to call every-other Friday night back in the day. Pa Calendar and the fam’ used bum rush one of the several thousands Biker Bars and Authorized Hell’s Angels Hangouts littered throughout the Bible Belt, brandishing pool cues and holy water, seeing how many rough-and-tumble types we could knock out and crucify (figuratively-we’re not that demonic). We never really came out on top of any of these fights, but our masochistic pa sure did have a good time. Talk about painting the town red…with Dad. The last Crimson Nights of the semester goes down tonight in the Union from 9 p.m. to 2 p.m.

We’ve heard of the latest pick for the ASUU Presenter’s Office Free Film Series, “Dazed and Confused,” screening tonight in the Post Theatre (directly north of Fort Douglas) at 9 p.m., but we doubt anybody in ASUU has. We’re willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, but just in case: all references to “bud, pot, grass, hemp, ganja, dank, chronic, chronic-bubonic, sticky-icky, green, dope, bongs, bubblers, vaporizers, joints, spliffs, blunts, sacks, bags, dimes, quarters, eigths” and the like are alluding to or suggesting the use of “marijuana.” Not that we’d know anything about that.

April 23

Saturday

The one thing Calendar would throw into Fiery Furnaces if given the opportunity: Clay…Aiken. The ber-weirdo siblings that are the Fiery Furnaces make Jack and Meg White look like Will and Carlton to their indie Lyle and Erik Menendez. And while they might not have murdered their parents in cold blood, they’ll be killin’ the crowd of shoe-gazing scenesters Saturday night at In The Venue (219 S. 600 West) when they take the stage around 8 p.m. Seriously, though: if only. Tickets are $12 from Smith’sTix outlets everywhere.