Chapter Two
1. Lo, it came to pass in the reign of the Rock, that he didst seek to raise himself up upon the shoulders of those nearest him. And in a display of humility, he didst glorify himself through slips of paper he gave many amongst his followers. And the color of these slips was pink, and great was their giving; and thus spoke Rocky:
2. Onward! Onward toward my victory! And on the rooftops did he sing: For those of these, my employees, who failst to complete their task, upon them layest I the blame. Neither were they competent, nor were they right.
3. Verily, sayest the Rock, I am right, and thou art wrong.
4. Even so, when I am wrong, it is not I that am in the wrong, but those in my circle who have advised me poorly.
5. And I take not responsibility for their hiring, neither for their incapacity to do what I say. Neener, neener!
6. Lo, and in that self-same time, there was a fluttering of pink within the mayor’s office, and it did delight the Rock, and great was his smile.
7. Wherefore, from out of the House, yea, near unto the political heart of Rocky, rose up one Frank, whom they called Pignanelli, and righteous was his desire to dethrone the Rock. For he had heard from out of the office the warrings between Rocky and his followers,
8. And he sought to win the mayor’s seat from the Rock to bring peace back and wrest control from him who did not use it responsibly.
9. Yet, in the fourth year of the reign of the Rock, the people of Salt Lake City again were found sorely drunken at the polls, this time with a sour drink, for Rocky again maintained his place at the mayor’s seat. And Pignanelli left in defeat.
10. So, in the fourth year and second term of the reign of the Rock, there remained much to be done. For the Rock was not content to leave his people in a blessed and happy state.
11. And in his great wisdom did Rocky continue to woo the world to Salt Lake City, for he did grow lonely and did yearn once again after their fine wines and apparel. For he feared that unto the world, he did appear stupid.
12. Nevertheless, unto the world, the Rock did not matter, nay, not one jot, nor one tittle.
13. Neither did they take much thought as to the workings of Rocky, nor to the happenings at the city of the Salted Lake. Wherefore, the world didst take no great notice to the peculiar rose in the desert. Yea, verily, its peculiarity didst make it seem fresh to many. Nevertheless, Rocky didst raise himself up once again to declare:
14. I the Rock will take great pains to make this land seem less stupid.
15. Even so, the world heard him not. And Rocky devised a devious plan in his heart…
To be continued…