Cosmo’s Aqua Kama Sutra: 25 Sex Positions for the Tub, Shower, Pool, and More
By the Editors of Cosmopolitan magazine
Sterling Publishing Co., Inc./Hearst Books
64 pages
Released June 28, 2006
Two out of five stars
What kind of book is going to suggest using a rubber ducky for?ahem? stimulation? This one! Cosmo’s Aqua Kama Sutra encourages rubber duck downs and so much more in this new book on how to have sex-with and in water!
What an angle!
Those Cosmo editors get down and dirty-then soapy clean-instructing couples on the best ways to “rock the boat/don’t rock the boat, baby/rock the boat/don’t tip the boat over,” using their formulaic, “mind-blowing” jargon (I’ll pay anyone $1 million if he or she can find a Cosmo publication without the words “mind” or “blow” in it).
And the thrills don’t stop there.
The book explains why it’s important to lube up, how to keep sand out of your crack(s) and what to do when confronted by lifeguards followed by posses of curious children.
However, from all practical perspectives, the tips provided are peripheral at best-if not just common sense.
Cosmo’s Aqua Kama Sutra is written specifically for a female audience. Sorry, guys, you might not want to whip out those Speedos just yet.
And who credits any book as “The Editors of Cosmopolitan?” Or any magazine for that matter? If a person is too embarrassed to have a book attributed to him or her even in pseudonym form, it shouldn’t ever be published.
Granted, the book is 100% waterproof, so any sex fiend can still keep it around while getting some-a bonus. This feature is especially essential for anyone who needs to refresh herself with the “Aqua Extra(s).”
Full-page silhouette illustrations give a visual of positions such as “Bathtub Boogie,” “Torrid Tidal Wave,” “Ladder Lovin'” and “Sexy Sprinkler.”
What more could any guy or girl ask for?
Maybe a sequel, about water balloons, squirt guns, toilets and water slides?oh yeah?water slides.