By Kim Peterson

Last month, I saw a man get hit in the head with a stop sign –and it was awesome.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a beer-chugging meathead who tapes episodes of “Cops” for kicks, but a night of Ultra Championship Wrestling definitely equals a good time.

For $7 ($30 for a group of six), audiences can experience professional wrestling that’s more exciting than World Wrestling Entertainment’s “Friday Night Smackdown.”

This Saturday at the Fight Coliseum, UCW will be hosting “TLC Carnage.” The event includes a battle for the Ultra-X Championship, a match between Validus and Total Nonstop Action wrestler David Young, as well as a TLC tag-team match.

A TLC match — short for a tables, ladders and chairs match — is a no-holds-barred hardcore match, which means you can expect guys jumping off ladders to elbow-drop unsuspecting opponents.

In other words, don’t be surprised to see a folding chair wrapped around at least one competitor’s face like yesterday’s recycled tinfoil.

Guaranteed excitement.

The wrestlers will kick ass with the braggadocio grace of a Brian Boitano/Arnold Schwarzenegger hybrid cyborg. As in any great show, the characters in UCW are larger than life.

For instance, Total Control and High Risk are two tag teams made up of young guys with abs you could melt sweet butter on. High Risk exemplifies your typical wrestling protagonist, the faces clean-cut, positive and merciful. In last month’s Family Reunion event, High Risk teamed up with former WWE superstar Marty Jannetty-the face to end all faces, you dig?

Needless to say, the trio won without pulling any shady stuff.

The crowd loves ’em.

During that same match, the team Total Control with UCW wrestler Validus was welcomed by a chorus of jeers. In a convincingly cowardly performance, the team tried its best to avoid Jannetty and company. Eventually, Total Control’s Mr. Spectacular forced his partner Tristan Gallo into the ring.

Pretty cool. But for those who crave the high-flying lucha-libre stylings of Rey Mysterio Jr., UCW’s got you covered.

Call him Paco. Loosely translated, his name means fury of the thousand flying fists (I think). Needless to say, with his flashy masks and acrobatic assaults, Paco’s a crowd favorite.

Remember the aforementioned stop sign to the face? Yes, that was Paco. At the Family Reunion, he and his partner, Damien (known collectively as Los Mochis), took it outside the ring.

The two used anything the crowd handed them, from candlesticks and stop signs to other people’s children (let’s leave it at that). After discarding the props and children, Paco jumped off a railing near the building’s entrance to slam his opponent into the cement.

Beyond pure entertainment, UCW also makes political commentary accessible to the masses. At last month’s match, another hero, Geurrero Azteca, was attacked by a guest wrestler who waxed poetic on the reasons Mexicans should return to Mexico.

Azteca beat down said wrestler with migrant pugilistic fury, the roar of the crowd propelling him to victory. And so fled the bigot wrestler, the crowd’s catcalls and boos ushering him out of the Fight Coliseum in shame.

Azteca, sporting Mexican and American flags, guided a young boy and an old man on stage to celebrate his victory.

Saturated with ham-fisted symbolism, the hombre viejo and the chico pequeo each lofted a different flag and many in the arena rose to their feet in celebration.

If only things were that easy in the real world.

UCW lays the smackdown this Saturday at 7 p.m. (doors open at 6:30 p.m.) at the Fight Coliseum. Tickets are available at www.smithstix.com or at the door. The Fight Coliseum is located at 751 W. 800 South in Salt Lake City. For more information, visit www.ucw-zero.com.

Kim Peterson

Guerrero Azteca enters the arena and shows his multicultural pride with the support of the fans at Ultra Championship Wrestling’s Family Reunion event March 23 at the Fight Coliseum.

Kim Peterson

Paco, member of the tag-team Los Mochis, pummels opponent Dallas Murdock with a stop sign handed to him by an enthusiastic fan March 23 in the Fight Coliseum. Ultra Championship Wrestling is holding TLC Carnage this Friday at 7 p.m.