Dear He says, She says:
I’ve been seeing the same guy, “Dave,” now for a whole semester, but I have the hots for his best friend “Casey.” OK, so occasionally hooking up and having the most romantic nights of my life probably constitute more than just “having the hots” for Casey, but he doesn’t even live in the same state. Plus, Dave is super sweet. How should I handle this?
Hot and Bothered
Dear Hot and Bothered,
He says: Since the possibility of a threesome isn’t do-able with your official honey not in state, you’d better break the news and your boyfriend’s heart all at once.
Wow, not only do you get to end your long-standing relationship, but you get to ruin your boyfriend’s friendship with his compadre. Double damage!
Tell him to write in for advice after you spill the beans, Hot and Bothered.
She says: I don’t understand why you’ve stuck with your boyfriend for so long — if you can honestly even refer to him as that. Clearly, your heart and your primal instincts are geared toward your sweetie’s buddy. Naturally, I would flock to the threesome solution, too, but Clay already put the kibosh on that one. The tough thing here is that you CAN keep playing the game with both of these guys without anything going sour, considering that one is physically out of the picture and the other naively adores you.
I leave you with a question to ponder while you’re in deep Zen meditation: What keeps you with your man in Salt Lake City? Figure that one out and then compare it to your “romantic nights” with his bestie. You might not be meant for his friend, but you’ll definitely find out if the guy in your vicinity has what it takes to increase your heart rate.
Dear He Says, She Says:
One of my good friends just got out of a long relationship and is finally hanging out with our clique again. Unfortunately, she’s been gone too long to have any idea which guys I’ve fooled around with in our circle of friends. And she is somehow managing to hook up with EXACTLY those guys. She really has no way of knowing what she’s doing. Should I ignore it or should I tell her?
Stumped
Dear Stumped,
He says: If you got the clap, you’d damn well better say something.
She says: Agreed. While you can’t change the fact that your good friend has now had sloppy seconds with the majority of your recent beaus, you CAN step in and make her aware of it for when she meets more of your male friends in the future. Wouldn’t it be nice if she thought it appropriate to ask if you had anything going on with that cute guy at your party last Saturday? Let’s face it — even if you don’t inform her, she will have just pointed you in the right direction for your next hot date.
Now, that’s karma working in your favor.
Dear He Says, She Says:
I like to make out. A lot. But it seems as if every girl I get casually involved with lately turns clingy on me. Since when was a drunken kiss a basis for attachment? Now I’m battling with unnecessary jealousy and being told that I shouldn’t be in the same room with more than one of them at a time. And let me tell you — that’s damn near impossible.
Positively Unattached
Dear Positively Unattached,
He says: Why are you writing in again? On paper it looks like you’re living the life that beer and condom commercials promise. They can teach you how to deal with this lifestyle you lead, not me. If your ways are getting to be a problem, try staying indoors, gaining 30 pounds, watching cartoons and playing video games all day. Those girls who are “competing” for you will play you off as a drunken debacle and pretend you never happened — problem solved.
She says: Something isn’t balanced. You’re living the single life, but dealing with the typical girlfriend/boyfriend relationship crap. Judging by your affinity for exchanging saliva, I’d say you just got out of a relationship and are trying to stay far away from any future relationships.
In any case, I’d look inward for the root of this dilemma. If your pool of makeout buddies is so grand, then the extra-cling feature that these girls come with must be stimulated by something you’re doing. Maybe you’re so accustomed to playing your previous role as boyfriend that you’re not out of the routine yet.
When you advertise yourself as prime partner material, you have to expect some to take the bait.