Most of us are all too aware that finals are just around the corner. As we progress through our collegiate academic careers, many of us undergrads will be thinking about graduate school – law, medicine, masters degrees, etc. – and how completely critical it is in this competitive world to not only graduate but to get the very best grades possible, along with all of the extracurricular requirements, if we want to stand out in a sea of millions just like us who yearn for that stamp on the forehead that reads “success.” But have the pressures associated with school and professionalism been taken too far, to the point that young adults are failing to truly learn in their courses and enjoy their younger years and later, life, outside the classroom? For many, I’d say this is true. Burnt out, sleepless nights, declining health, anxiety and breakdowns are associated with more than just finals week in college undergrads these days. They’re coming together to form an unnatural and dangerous lifestyle. Is that really how we want people to think they have to live if they want to be “successful?”
There are, of course, many ideas of what it means to be successful. To a lot of people, success starts with getting a 4.0 GPA while playing varsity sports, being active on the school paper and the debate team and working a part-time job, all while volunteering and pursuing personal interests and an active social life – essentially covering every possible base for a top-notch graduate school/job application following college graduation. It looks nearly impossible, given these requirements, unless you’re either Superman or forgo sleep and pop pills on the daily.
I can’t blame those parents who want to see their kids run with the best of the best or the teachers who want their students to be able to compete and succeed, for putting such intense pressures on young people to “be the best you can be.” With as many people as we have fighting for the top spot on the pyramid of achievement, of course it’s going to take an exceptional amount of work, luck and, all too often, exploitation and cheating to be the most successful in the way society tends to measure it – by wealth and professional prestige. The competitive nature of school and the pressures to meet all of these requirements for “success” with the utmost grace and dedication can easily push us over the edge.
Jean Twenge, author of the book Generation Me and a psych professor at San Diego University, has shown that “five to eight times more college students today report serious mental health problems than did students at mid-century,” which can lead to serious health concerns later on in addition to rough years through school. She also reported that suicide rates have doubled in teens and young adults over the past fifty years or so. Maybe some people are capable of checking every single box of their application checklist with confidence, pride and a healthy mind. But I think kids often go through their academic careers and put themselves through physical, mental and emotional hell, which they might regret later on.
I’m not saying we should give up on our dreams or that we shouldn’t push ourselves in school or work. I do think, however, that kids and young adults these days tend to take on too much because they’re worried they won’t be able to compete in this world unless they do every possible thing they can. But success doesn’t have to be measured in grades, or income, or how many cars you have by the time you’re thirty. Success could very well be a measurement of your personal fulfillment, knowledge, love, happiness, experiences, and contributions to society as you see them. To my mind, someone is successful when they’re able to balance everything in a healthy way – doing well in school, work, family, extracurriculars, social life – and set reasonable goals accordingly. I understand that it can be scary to let go, to take a break, to accept a B here and there in school because you decided to go home for Thanksgiving and see your family instead of study. But when I look back on my college experience, I want to remember not only the challenges and sacrifices I faced academically, but also how much I grew and learned through my experiences outside the classroom, which, ultimately, may have a larger impact and prepare me for the future more so than textbook learning.