- The Daily Utah Chronicle

Israeli Tanks Shell Palestine Security

April 2, 2002

RAMALLAH, West Bank?Israeli tanks and helicopters shelled a heavily fortified Palestinian security headquarters in an all-night assault Tuesday. Fighting raged outside Bethlehem's Church of the Nativity, and Israel's prime minister proposed exile for Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat.

Carribean Cocaine Bust Nets One Ton

April 2, 2002

TAMPA, Fla.?The captain of a ship found to be carrying a ton of cocaine jumped overboard while handcuffed and drowned, federal authorities said Monday. Last month's bust was part of "Operation Panama Express," an investigation of drug smuggling in the Eastern Pacific.

Criminal Evidence of 6,000 Cases Lost

April 2, 2002

LOS ANGELES?Hair, blood and semen gathered in as many as 6,000 unsolved rape and murder cases in Los Angeles County are missing and presumably destroyed, according to a county forensic specialist. "Every one of these cases we can't solve now means a violent perpetrator remains on the street," said Lisa Kahn, the deputy district attorney in charge of the forensic science section.

Fangy McHairgrease for ASUU President

April 2, 2002

Marge Simpson is fuming. Not only is she forced to clean up after Bart, listen to Lisa's incessant saxophone playing and sleep next to Homer, but she didn't even get a vote in the ASUU primary elections. Homer received two votes for president of the Associated Students of the University of Utah, Lisa and Maggie both got one.

Police Crack Down on Al Qaeda in Pakistan

April 2, 2002

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan?Police raided more suspected al Qaeda hide-outs, arresting 16 people in an ongoing crackdown against Osama bin Laden's terror network in Pakistan, officials said Tuesday. The country's major Islamic parties called on the government to end military cooperation with the United States in the war on terrorism and announced plans for nationwide protests against Israel's military offensive against the Palestinians?a move the clerics sought to link to U.

Haircuts Without the Glamour

April 2, 2002

Having Billy Packer as a client is probably not a barber shop's dream endorsement. About 10 years ago, the CBS basketball commentator was in Salt Lake City to cover early rounds of the NCAA tournament. On the air, Packer said he noticed the Dollar Barber Shop near campus and dropped in for a quick trim before tip-off.

Baseball Takes Series from Aztecs

April 2, 2002

The U baseball team was looking for a breakout series, in which it could show the rest of the conference that it is ready to compete for the championship. Now the Utes have it. Utah defeated the San Diego State Aztecs in two out of three games played at Franklin Covey Field last weekend, winning 5-3, falling 16-1, and prevailing in the rubber match 3-1.

Correction

April 2, 2002

In an April 2 story titled "Biology Prof Loses Job in Budget Pinch," David Wolstenholme was misquoted. The statement about non-tenured track job security should have been attributed to Fred Montague.

Atlanta Ready to Crush Mets, Claim NL East

April 2, 2002

Ahhhhhhhhhh? Major League Baseball, easily the third-best professional sport on the planet, is underway yet again, and I, for one, am pleased as punch. Of course, given that punch is an inanimate, non-sentient, liquified object, I'm not really sure how pleased it actually is, but I suppose it still fits the context of my mind-frame, given that, until the Lakers have secured their third straight championship and the NBA Finals have come to a close, I can't really get all orgasmic about baseball, as Bob Costas is prone to do.

The Chronicle’s View: ASUU Election Timeline Restricts Campaigns

April 2, 2002

Political campaigns often receive criticism for starting too soon?sometimes years?before the actual election occurs. No one could make that criticism of this year's Associated Students of the University of Utah elections. Candidates were permitted to post their signs starting Saturday, March 23, which officially served as the starting point for ASUU campaign 2002.