There’s certain satisfaction gained from watching other people exercise while you eat junk food. This is basically what sporting events have become. America doesn’t really need another reason to eat unhealthily. It’s ridiculous how centralized the country is on football. It’s a sport comparably savage to times in ancient Rome. Short history lesson: during the beginning of the fall of the Roman Empire, the government began giving out bread and alcohol to citizens who came to watch grown men kill each other and to watch whole families be eaten alive by lions. The government did this to keep the society from tearing the city apart, to keep people docile.

If you tell me that there’s not a connection between that and football, I will not believe you.

Every year the country orients itself around a single football game: the Super Bowl. Families war over two competing teams, people spend hundreds of dollars on snacks and drinks to enjoy watching the game and the biggest celebrities plan elaborate performances for the half-time show.

Whatever happened to baseball being the American pastime? All they do is whack a ball with a stick. There is less of a chance players get hurt and less of a need for a referee because there isn’t as much stop-and-start.

There is only one aspect of sports that’s worth the adulation of so many millions of people, specifically in sports: the promotion of exercising. Unfortunately, it’s not true that everyone who enjoys watching sports also enjoys taking part in them.

Professional football players get a ludicrous amount of money, especially compared to how much money teachers, police officers, and firefighters get paid. The average NFL quarterback makes several million dollars every year, while the average teacher will make less than $50,000. They are unfortunately in the same pay bracket as other valuable public employees, people who actually contribute to making the country a better place to live.

Football players get paid for being strong and fast. The government doesn’t pay the football team; they get sponsors and are paid depending on how well the team does. All those businesses sponsoring football games could also sponsor something useful, like education.

When people find out I don’t like football and don’t care about the Super Bowl, they look at me like I’m insane. I think it’s insane how much football dictates people’s lives. Honestly, it’s just a matter of time before society pays to watch people be mulled by lions once again.

[email protected]